How Great Expectations Dating Can Set You Up For Failure

How long have you had great expectations, dating only people you thought would be perfect for you? That’s a major reason why so many people think of dating a new person as something to dread. Dating really can be fun again if you’ll let go of a few outdated ideas. Try to change your perspective, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t go on a date with some great expectations. Dating wouldn’t be much fun if you prepared yourself for disappointment every time you went on a date. But the type of expectations you have needs to change. Then you’ll start to enjoy dating again, and it’ll be even easier for you to find that special someone.

First, if you go on every date looking for a spouse, stop thinking that way now. Even if you’re just looking for a steady girlfriend or boyfriend, you should rethink it. You might very well find the perfect person by dating. But going on dates with that expectation can certainly ruin the fun.

When you go out with someone with that kind of great expectation, dating becomes a process. It goes from a fun time with someone you enjoy spending time with, to some kind of try out for a mate. Even if you don’t say as much, the pressure is there under the surface. And that unspoken tension can ruin any date.

Imagine if someone asked you out with that great expectation? Dating them would make you feel like a bug under glass, wouldn’t it? You might be flattered at first, thinking they thought you might be marriage material. But soon enough you might feel uncomfortably scrutinized, and rightfully so.

Thoughts of marriage shouldn’t really enter into dating until you’ve been seeing the same person a lot. Even then it might be too soon. Usually you move from dating to dating them exclusively, and then to a commitment long before thoughts of marriage enter into the picture. This is the best way to keep things fun, and keep your heart from being broken unnecessarily.

So now that you see it’s best not to even think about marriage or a serious relationship yet, you’ve freed yourself up to have fun dating again. Date someone because you like that person. He or she interests you, and seems like a fun person to spend time with. It doesn’t have to be a serious affair.

Ask your co-worker out to the movie you both want to see and just plan to have fun. Have great expectations, but only that you’ll have a great time, not that you’ll want to pop the question! If more comes of it, it’s a wonderful bonus. And you might find that with the pressure off, it’s actually easier for more to come of it.

Finally, if you find you’re on a date with someone who’s looking for marriage, don’t be discouraged. If you focus on your type of great expectations, dating can still be fun, and you might even get them to lighten up a little.